Wednesday, July 20, 2005

Replay: Real forwards! - Part 2

Absolutely hilarious!! :))

****
I enter the class and sit down in the 4th bench. The teacher is talking something about how packets are routed when a network is congested. Of course, this does not concern us in any way. We have other, more important things to do. The gang is discussing euthanasia, or mercy killing.

Sunny: "If that patient is so ill that he cannot live, and wants to die, just let him die no. What is your problem?"
Sridhar: "But someone simply cannot die. He owes a debt to society."
Sunny: “But he will get his insurance money. He can pay off all his debt.”
Sridhar: “Not that kind of debt. See ... He owes society his life”
Sunny: “He did not buy it did he?”
Sridhar: “Buy what?”
Sunny: “Wait… Listen… Life is free”
Me: “Mine was probably bought in a half-price sale”
Saurav: “I bought Nike floaters yesterday… Half price…”
Krishna: “Really? Where? ”

… And the discussion goes off on a tangent … But it brought back by the forceful Abishek

Abishek: “This is just like suicide. I don’t want to live, so I die.”
Sunny: “Yeah, It’s like me asking you to suicide me. It’s simply a callback function”
Karunanidhi: "Some things are beyond the normal. We have to transcend our consciousness and touch the spirit within to understand the "maya" that the world around us is. Why does GK wear that red jacket all the time? It is simply inexplicable."
Me: "Hey look... Let's not talk about my jacket ok..."
Raghu: "Yeeno nidhi... Thames nalli T*** T****** bandya? yeenu english hoditaidiya?"
Linus: "I hope they use Linux on all the hardware. 'cause if they are using windoze, it might crash and the hardware might malfunction and the patient might....err.. survive!!! We don't want that to happen. We have to ensure that the patient dies..."

(Anup is in the back bench... He makes an obscure reference about Sunny, which is overheard.)
Sunny: "One of these days, I am going to euthenize Anup..."
Me: "But what about moral issues? What about ethics?"
Kris: "Chicks? Someone say chicks?"

… And again off on another tangent …

After talking about euthanasia in general and nothing in particular, we reach no conclusion.

In the meanwhile, the teacher has noticed the sound levels rising in class. To bring it under control, he shouts:

Teacher: “What happens when this link is down. How is the congestion controlled in the
network?”

I take some time to realize that the question was addressed to me.

Me: “Err… Sir… If the node A is down and it’s link to the flanking nodes is handled by the transport layer entity which is at the peer level in the corresponding layer at the remote host, the congestion will be rerouted through alternate paths as calculated by the distributed system
either by Dijkstra’s algorithm or ad-hoc routing through peer-mobile networks, whichever has shorter turnaround times as determined by the local host trying to communicate through the
communication channel.”
Teacher: “Sit down…”

Let’s take a re-look at the above conversation, only this time, with a computer’s perspective.
Algorithm used by GK to determine answer to the asked question (in C++):

Question * q = getQuestion();
delete q;
Dictionary dict = getDictionary(COMPUTER_TERMS);
while ( ! target.isDazed() ) {
  Word w = dict.getRandomWord();
  cout << w;
}
cout << endl;

The corresponding messages ( output of the STDERR stream ) of teacher :

brain@teacher : Input error… encoding of stream could not be determined!!
brain@teacher : Parse Error… Un-understood term:flanking
brain@teacher : Parse Error… Unrecognized tokens in input stream
brain@teacher : Parse Error…
brain@teacher : Page fault… Restarting listening daemon…
brain@teacher : Listening daemon… Could not bind to ear…Too much noise in class
brain@teacher : Retrying… Connection Established…
brain@teacher : Parse Error… Could not determine the question to which answer is been given…
brain@teacher : Warning!!! Flow control error… Some or all packets may be lost
brain@teacher : Error… Unknown error!!!
brain@teacher : Error… Too many errors…
brain@teacher : Confused by earlier errors… bailing out…
brain@teacher : Throwing exception “Sit Down”.
Expected to stop input stream. Raise error “DazedLook” to display_module

So now you know… The “sit down” command is really an exception thrown to make the student stop talking.

12 comments:

  1. Absolutely howlarious!!! Boss, this GK really rocks. I can even remember the "target"... Koli Manja ;-))

    And btw, I was wondering which character name I was assigned, for quite some time, and the statements at the end of that paragraph helped me out ;-) Know what I mean ;-))

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  2. Good one!!! How do you manage to bring C++ in every aspect of life!!

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  3. lmbo, lol i actually understood some of that:P

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  4. LOL .....:-))..........Good algorithm and a better implementation.

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  5. sub0 - yea i know what you mean?? guy with many cousins ;)

    keshav - thanks dude! C++ everywhere? well, you'd probably know if you had attended PPR classes conducted by Mr. Vijayan. moreover its my favorite language. :)

    morning rose - cud you explain what you understood?? :D

    heap - thanks, we all are known for optimizing algorithms :D

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  6. Hehee... i just couldnt stop laughing, remembering the time when it was actually written.. too cool... kewl names as well... Its easy to spot giri after the last stmt. hehe.. kewl.. nice one..

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  7. hmm..u always seem to end up with some C++ stuff in anything and everything!Is it that your expression is at its best in c++? :)

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  8. naren - how come there's no reference to you in this piece??

    pratibha - you said it! i always end up relating most stuff to either C++ or some OS concept!

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  9. you realise you are running for the Nobel Prize for Existance, don't u? yes, I nominated u.
    *bow, kow-tow and suchlike*

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  10. manu - oh thank you :) i was thinking my existance is being the most boring being! wait - something went wrong in that previous sentence!!

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  11. No idea da... guess i was busy with "something else", when the discussions were happening in the class :)

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  12. Nice one John.. Brings back lots of not-so-old memories..

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What I want to say is: